The Great Debate
by RenaRoo
Summary: Dick cannot believe what his younger siblings could be so savage.


the-owlknight propmted: I know you been very busy as of late. But when you have the time can you make a one short Batfamily Story how the family is divided on what's better Crunchy Cereal or Soggy Cereal, titled Cereal War. You can pick the Pro Crunchy and Pro Soggy Teams. :)

Jason and Helena skipped this meal for convenience sake, we'll say. So let's imagine Bruce taking them to a fantastic brunch away from the breakfast madness going on currently at Wayne Manor ; )

Batman and related properties © DC Comics  
story © RenaRoo

 **The Great Debate**

It wasn't often Dick chose to open a line with complete disdain, but his siblings did nothing if not test him.

"What the hell did you do to that cereal?" Dick asked, if not _demanded,_ as he looked at the table.

Cassandra and Tim stood – or _sat_ at least – their grounds, spoons halfway between what looked like multicolored porridge and their mouths. They kept an even, if not well practiced expression, and Cass even continued to put the _thing_ in her mouth.

"Ruined it," Damian answered for them, all but standing in his seat as he looked at Dick exacerbated. "Make them stop it, Grayson. It's _disturbing_ the newest child."

Duke stared at Damian, still dunking his French toast. "I honestly don't think he knows my name yet."

"That's a good thing," Tim assured him before taking another bite and causing Dick's eyelid to spasm.

"How do you ruin the most perfect meal in the world, Tim?" Dick continued. "Cereal is… It's too _good_ for this. Too _pure_ for your shenanigans."

"Why am I being singled out for this?" Tim asked. "Did my mixed soda drink at Pizza Place _really_ disturb you on that deep of a level? _Really?"_

"The fact that you have to even ask that is telling enough for why you're getting my blame," Dick replied. "You mix sugary drinks like a seven-year-old. And you're taking Cass down your nefarious path as well."

"I'm lost on what this is," Duke spoke up, looking uncomfortably between the others. "This is about letting cereal get soggy?"

"Drake's preferred method of defacing breakfast!" Damian snapped viciously. "And here I had high hopes for Cain."

Cass blinked owlishly at the jab before shoving another spoonful of mushed, sugary cereal into her mouth. Her shoulders shrugged. "Sorry," she said around the spoon, though the word seemed to hold little, if _any,_ weight at all.

"You're defacing cereal," Dick said, still mystified more than anything else. "I can't think of an offense I can take more personally than that, Li'l Brother. I should probably arrest you."

"According to who?" Tim asked, sounding already like a lawyer at court. "That's an _opinion_ , Dick. An opinion of yours and Damian's. Cass and I happen to agree on the validity of soggy cereal."

"It's good," Cass added, as if she hadn't already taken part in breaking Dick's heart.

"I am disowning both of you," Damian said with a sense of authority he probably shouldn't have had.

"I'd like to see you try," Tim snapped back, like a ten year old was any threat to his person at all.

"Okay, enough," Dick said, scooting into his seat at the table. "Despite what crimes some of us commit against the culinary arts, we _are_ still civilized. We can settle whether or not this offense deserves punishment through at _least_ a vote."

Everyone nodded in agreement before, slowly, shifting eyes to Duke, who had been doing his level best to eat his toast in peace.

When he realized what was going on, Duke sighed and put his toast aside. "I have no feelings toward cereal," he announced.

"Careful," Damian warned.

"I just want to eat my toast," Duke tried instead.

There was a collective hum as the other Wayne children glanced between one another. The silence carried for a beat before Dick smoothed out a napkin before him.

"French toast or waffles," he put forth.

"French toast," Damian, Duke, and Tim called out intermixed with Dick and Cass' "Waffles."

The family stared at each other, Tim and Damian looking particularly smug with the outnumbering.

Dick glared at Cass. She pulled out her phone almost on instinct.

"Calling Stephanie," she nodded.

"That's cheating!" Damian yelled.

Duke scowled slightly, dunking his toast again. "Is this what you guys do for fun?"

"This isn't fun for anyone, Duke," Dick assured him.

"This is a way of life," Damian added, hand slamming on the table.

"Stubborn life," Cass smirked into her spoon.

"The only life," Tim nodded. "Welcome to the Waynes."


End file.
